Meghan has only been part of the Ophelia House community for a few weeks when we spoke with her, but she wanted to share her story. She hopes that by speaking honestly about her experiences, she might help others recognise the connection between trauma, addiction, and recovery and encourage compassion for those still finding their way forward.
For years, I believed I could manage everything on my own. I spent almost a decade trying to cope with my mental health and addiction, never realising how much of what I was struggling with came from trauma, from things that were done to me, not things I had done wrong.
My struggles began in my teens after a series of painful and destabilising experiences, including sexual violence that changed how I saw the world and myself. Those years left deep marks on me, and I coped the only ways I knew how at the time through self-punishment, isolation, and drugs and alcohol. What started as attempts to manage unbearable feelings eventually became dependency. I sank into a deep and angry depression.
I found myself in relationships where control, manipulation, and physical and emotional abuse became normal. Drugs and alcohol became a way to numb what I couldn’t process.
After a series of hospital admissions, both for physical and mental health, I was fast-tracked into Ophelia House.
It took a long time for me to say yes to rehab.
But now that I am here, I am starting to learn about myself and how to deal with my emotions. Through groups and peer support, I am beginning to understand how trauma has shaped my life and beliefs. The community of women are supportive; we are all on a similar journey, so we help each other and work together as a team.
Recovery for me is about reclaiming myself. It’s about learning who I am beyond trauma, violence and addiction. I’m spending my time at Ophelia working towards life goals, including becoming ordained as a Buddhist. I’m currently a Mitra – meaning I am committed to Buddhism, and I’ve been able to study once a week during my time at Ophelia House.
Gender-based violence leaves deep marks, but it doesn’t define the rest of our lives. It’s early days, but rehab has helped me start to turn things around. I would say to anyone who was in my situation to try and be patient, give yourself the time and space that you need and deserve.
I now look forward to going back into higher education, perhaps buying my own house one day and being able to travel – and of course continuing in my recovery by attending NA and AA meetings.
I want to do more meaningful things with my life now and I can finally see the potential I have. But maintaining my sobriety is my number one aim, as I know it will make everything else possible.
